how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
