and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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