its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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