I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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