Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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