It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
