white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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