I cannot find my penis.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
