You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
