Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize