I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I am mentally ready for anal.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
