direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
