Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
