you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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