Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
