You work out of a Hotel?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
