Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
