You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
