So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
