Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
