Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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