Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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