I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
