Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
