the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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