He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
