I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
