just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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