But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
