just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
