Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
