party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
