i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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