Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
They took my balls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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