I skipped work to stalk him.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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