there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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