Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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