Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
