if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize