he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
either way he was missing a nipple.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
