You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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