i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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