There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She's the barista slut.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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