Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize