Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
