put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
