Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
