I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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