Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Where is the hickey?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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