I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
