So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
