It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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