so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
