Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
