drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
high people should be assigned attendants
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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