That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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