Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
