Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
