do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize