There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
