What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
