I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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