I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So many bounce houses so little time
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
