is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
