dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
