there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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